Member-only story
Chronicles of a People Pleaser
It’s just not that simple
The obsession of people pleasing stems from a single feeling: Inadequacy. Feelings of inadequacy often lead to the assumption that other people’s default reaction to you is rejection. The simple yet not so simple solution to this issue would be to go above and beyond to try and please such people. For a people pleaser, the natural requirement for love, acceptance and fulfilment is compromised often times due to being exposed to an unhealthy amount of rejection and exclusion earlier on in life.
My family moved around a lot when I was between the ages of 1 and 6 which meant new friends and a new school every few months or so. As you can imagine being thrown into a new environment that many times at that age can do a number on you. I became very introverted because I was uncomfortable with my surroundings or the other kids around me. However, when first grade rolled around my parents finally stopped moving and instead I was presented with every kid’s worst nightmare. I was bullied a lot in 1st and 2nd grade. As an extremely shy kid, I wasn’t able to stick up for myself or ask for help. In my head this was a game of trying to keep the people I already knew in my life. Somehow it was better to be with people that bullied me rather than to be alone.
